The office is an environment that sometimes invites romance. Joint pressures, close quarters, travel, and many shared hours may stir the love potions. Recently we learned that one of the most successful American CEO’s, Mark Hurd of Hewlett Packard, was publically bounced out the door on the eve of a $100 million contract renewal. A former marketing consultant alleged he sexually harassed her. What happens when Cupid’s arrow hits you at work? Will it be fatal to your career?
First, there are rules enforced by the Federal Equal Employment Opportunity division regarding sexual harassment and companies spend millions each year training employees to follow them. They come in two major categories: quid pro quo harassment; and creating a hostile work environment. The first is a ‘this for that’ situation where the boss takes vengeance on an employee for rejecting his or her sexual advancements. It is also wrong to for an employee to be subjected to conduct that is sexual in nature, like rude jokes, posting sexual images, or improper touching. This applies to the victims and bystanders. For example a rude conversation among friends in a lunch room may impact a person at a nearby table. One cannot repeatedly pursue a person that does not want a non-business relationship. An example is you can ask a co-worker for a date. If the invitee refuses, do not persist.
Let’s assume you dig deeper than this blog; are trained on the rules; follow them; and Cupid hits a bull’s eye on your backside. What do you do?
• Keep the romance outside work. Avoid holding hands at the cooler, joyous whispers behind the cubicle or too much time under the mistletoe at the office holiday party. The audience perceives more that you are projecting. Perception is reality. Bosses worry about distraction and fear an emotional break-up. Co-workers fear you are plotting about them. Use discretion.
• Avoid boss-employee relationships. Co-workers despise these couples, believing someone is getting favors or access to everyone’s personnel files. It all seems wonderful at the beginning and it may last forever. However, in a fiery break-up, someone may face ‘he versus she’ charges on quid pro quo law-breaking that will end both careers. It is playing with dynamite.
• If you are truly in love, one of you should find a job with another local company. There are all of these laws, so many perceptions, and many things can go wrong. Besides, who wants to be with a loved one 24 hours a day? Murder is also illegal.
My best advice is to avoid office romance. You may not be risking a $100 million dollar contract. Only on very rare occasions does the upside of love among the cubicles outweigh the risks and damages to a career. Arrows are painful.
